


Things Left Unsaid

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:13:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24354859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: After losing Tony, Nat and Steve, Bucky tries to find a way to make the loss easier for you.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 27





	Things Left Unsaid

Things after the snap had been bad, but you had all had a focus, getting everyone back. You hadn’t given yourself time to grieve because that meant giving up, and you couldn’t do that. 

Then, for a brief moment in time, you had everyone. You were all fighting side by side and it felt good. Sure, the circumstances were not the best but for the first time in years, the gang was back together and on the same side. 

For a brief moment.

The loss of Tony hit you hard, hit you all hard. Then Steve… Man, that one had hurt. You had always carried a bit of a torch for the fearless man and part of you had hoped after everything that maybe if you told him, something could happen. That dream was comprehensively smashed to pieces and you felt so lost, so alone. 

Usually, you would have turned to Nat. The hole left by three of your closest friends was like a gaping chasm that could never be filled. Your world had tilted off its axis and it was never going to be right again.

Bucky watched you from a distance, unsure how to help you but acutely aware of your pain. Sam had offered a shoulder to lean on, Wanda had sat silently by your side on many occasions, Bruce encouraged you to help Peter, but nothing worked. 

Sitting at the kitchen counter, Bucky silently ate his cereal as he watched you move around the room on autopilot. It hurt him, the feeling of helplessness when it came to you. He had always been drawn to you, you were so bright and hopeful. To see you like this made him wish he could go back and change things, even if that meant sacrificing himself. 

“You were the closest thing she had to a sister.” Clint leaned against the doorframe, watching you mindlessly stir your drink. 

“I miss her.” Turning, you give him a weak smile. 

“I know, we all do. But we both know if she were here, she would be kicking all our asses.” He chuckled. 

“She would be trying to cheer everyone up by starting a stupid prank war or meddling in people’s love lives.”

“Oh, you know it. She’d have a list of guys for you. Barnes would have been at the top.” Barton gestured over to the man suddenly concentrating on his almost empty dish.

“Shut up.” You laughed, knowing that was exactly the sort of shit Nat would be trying to pull, trying to fill the void of those who had left you all.

The sound of your laughter made Bucky’s heart skip, a smile tugging at his lips. There was just a flash of the old you there. If he could only bring it out, but he didn’t really know Natasha like Clint.

**********

“You do realise I have absolutely no idea what you just said.” You look between Peter and Bruce with an eyebrow raised. It was always slightly frustrating to be in a room surrounded by genius.

“You don’t have to understand it. Tony always used to say you were like an idea beacon, a lightning rod.” Bruce smiled fondly, continuing with his calculations.

“Oh, great.” Sarcasm dripping from you.

“It was a good thing. You know Tony found focus a little…”

“Challenging at times?”

“Yeah, we’ll go with that.” Bruce chuckled. “He liked having you around in here with him, said you calmed things, let them settle.”

“He liked having me in here because I kept his coffee warm and was always down for a dance party.” You chuckled.

“Dance party?” Peter asked, looking up from the cellphone he had been tinkering with for the super-soldier sitting quietly, observing the conversation.

“Oh yeah, you haven’t been to a dance party until you’ve danced to AC/DC at 2:30 am in a lab with at least three things on fire at any given moment.” Your face lit up at the memory. 

“Fire?”

“Oh yeah. Maybe that’s what Tony meant saying I was a ‘lightning rod’.” You joked.

“You were his favourite assistant, and I’m saying that in front of Peter! Who he thought of as a son! Trust me, Tony thought a lot of you.”

“Thanks, Bruce. He meant a lot to me too.” Your smile grew sad, your light dimming a little again and Bucky frowned.

“Okay, Mr. Barnes. Try that.” Peter smiled nervously at the super-soldier, handing him his newly 'upgraded’ cell phone. 

“Thanks, kid.” He nodded, his mind racing, trying to find something to say that might help you. But his relationship with the great Tony Stark was rocky and he had no anecdotes or insights for you. 

**********

“He thought you were awesome.” You were brought out of your thoughts by a familiar voice, though not one that often addressed you.

“What?” You pulled your gaze from the lake to look at Bucky who had taken a seat on the bench beside you.

“Steve. He thought you were awesome.” 

“Awesome? Steve?” Looking at him in disbelief, you shook your head but there was the faintest glimmer of a smile at the corners of your lips. 

“Definitely. He said there was nothing quite like your smile. Always so genuine and calming. Like nothing could go wrong if you were smiling.” He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, a warmth washing over him as he saw your lips twitch up despite yourself. 

“He didn’t.”

“He did! He said that you never realised how that smile of yours could make a guy feel. He noticed lots of little things.” His voice softened, a fond smile forming as he thought of the millions of little things you did that made him feel… something.

“Really? Like what?” You asked curiously, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“Well, like how you tap your fingers when you’re bored. How you fill out those quizzes that are supposed to tell you stuff like what type of cheese you are and then if you don’t get the answer you want you retake the quiz.” He grinned, gazing out across the water.

“So… so what else did he say about me?” Resting your head on his shoulder, Bucky’s heart began to race and for a moment his mind went blank.

“What else? Oh, erm, he said he liked the little victory dance you do when you pin Sam in training. You look really cute… erm, cool, it- it looks cool.” He stumbled.

“Really?” And there was that light emanating from you once more.

“Yeah, and that night we all went out for Banner’s birthday and we were in that bar with the bright green shots? You were dancing with Nat and you looked like you didn’t have a care in the world. He wished he could just let go like that. You looked so free.” A silence surrounded the bench and Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“He never said.” Your voice was small, a touch melancholic as you thought about the missed chances.

“Yeah, well, he was really good at keeping his thoughts in that big melon of his. I just- I thought you should know he thought a lot of you.” His heart ached, he knew how much you liked Steve, how high that bar was set for your affection.

“Thanks, Bucky.”

“No problem, doll.” He watched you get to your feet and head back inside, still glowing from his words.

“That’s not how I remember that conversation going,” Sam smirked as he joined Bucky on the bench. "Those weren’t Steve’s words, I mean, they were definitely said but not by Steve.“

"It means more to her if they did.” Buck shrugged, trying to play it off, but Sam wasn’t easily fooled.

“Buck, Steve’s gone. You’re here. Maybe it’s time to stop keeping it to yourself and just tell the girl how you feel.”

“I can’t, Sam. I don’t even know where I would start.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Sam patted him on the shoulder, and they sat, looking out over the water in companionable silence with only the occasional shove.


End file.
